My dad calls it the Vaughn Funk. I found that out today when I actually told him how I was feeling when he asked.
I’m just trying to think of things in a different perspective.
How? From what perspective?
That it’s easy to get angry and upset about things and harder to take a step back and appreciate the situation instead. I think that anger is such a strong emotion that when people get angry they stick with it because in a weird way you feel powerful. It’s powerful because you’re so angry you don’t care what other people think–you’re superior in some way (that’s how I feel, I think, subconsciously) and I’m also too stubborn to do anything about it. But the opposite of anger is love. And since they’re so similar in strength of emotion, maybe it’s not too hard to switch to that end of the spectrum. So instead of me walking around being angry at everything and wallowing in self-pity, I love everything with the same strength. So, instead feeling of anger, sadness, and or/feeling superior to people, I love and feel equal to people. And I realize that other people are going through things and that everything is okay and no really knows the true meaning of life, so you might as well love it, accept it, and embrace it. You’re always where you’re supposed to be and learn and grow and love it. So, when the dark demon thoughts come in, just know that love is just as strong, so it’s going to be okay. But it’s “checking” my angry thoughts that’s hard. I try to challenge them even when it’s difficult because it’s challenging myself, no one else. I think practicing gratitude everyday becomes a habit and then there’s a point where it comes naturally and one day I will get there.
The Vaughn Funk is a bittersweet friend.